Diagnosis

Ok, before you start worrying, I am not about to start explaining the DSM and ICD criteria for autism and Asperger’s. I have looked at them, and they are a real snooze. No, instead I am going to talk about self-diagnosis.

I am often asked to talk about my self-diagnosis. So, here goes:

Years and years ago, Dad was running to become a councillor for the National Autistic Society. And so he was listening to a recording of a lecture Tony Attwood gave for the NAS Surrey Branch a long while ago, to “brush up”. Anyway, we were on a long car trip to some park, and because I was bored, I listened in.

I heard Tony describing typical Asperger’s behaviour, and I realised something. He was talking about me.

When he was talking about how people with Asperger’s syndrome often took things literally, I realised that I had the same thing. In fact, I think he used an example that I had experienced only a few days before: the expression, “He will do that until the cows come home”. I had wondered which cows and where their home was. Then there was the bullying, and the types of bullying that people with Asperger’s often suffer from. I realised I had some obsessive behaviour – at the time I was reading animal physiology and anatomy books that were intended for veterinary students. There was obviously the genetic side – the fact that Jack, my brother, had autism made it more likely. And then, finally, there was the fact that I had never got along with other kids, and never had that desire to get along. I just wanted to do my own thing. I remembered that when I was in pre-school, there was a kit of bits which could be made into different things. Sometimes it would be a car, sometimes it would be a house, and sometimes it would be a windmill (which was everybody’s favourite). You could step into these things, and for the windmill turn the handle to make the sails go round. As soon as it was free I would go onto it, and think about how fast the tips of the sails went in relation to the speed I was turning the handle. As soon as anyone else came on I left, and just watched until no one else was on, and then I would go on it again. I would never be on it if there was anyone else on it (which was somewhat annoying as it was the most popular item)

After this, I asked to borrow the lecture tapes, and I listened to the day long lecture from start to finish, and the more I listened, the more I realised that I fit the criteria for Aspergers syndrome. After this, I approached my dad about it, to which he said “I doubt it”. And I don’t blame him; I may well have said the same thing in his position. The fact is, I was VERY good at hiding who I really was, like I was an alien dressed in a human costume (anyone else getting visions of that creature in Men in Black?). Anyway, I remained adamant that I had Asperger’s syndrome, however, it didn’t really come up again until a few years later.

By this time, I was very depressed, and lets face it, suicidal. So, I was dragged along to see a psychiatrist, with whom I had had some previous unpleasant dealings. Anyway, we had a meeting and she suddenly realised that I had Asperger’s syndrome. This obviously didn’t come as a shock, I was always adamant that I had Asperger’s syndrome, and so for me it was sort of a relief.

And that is how I diagnosed myself, and how I was officially diagnosed. Unfortunately, the process of getting a diagnosis is becoming harder. I was talking to someone a few weeks ago, and she was saying how she wants to get a diagnosis for her daughter, but doesn’t know how. So I told her that the standard way is go get a referral from your GP to a psychologist/psychiatrist who can give you a diagnosis. But the trouble is GPs, psychologists and psychiatrists are so overstretched at the moment, at least on the NHS. Because of this, people are spending thousands of pounds getting a private diagnosis because the trauma of not having a diagnosis is too much. And I can sympathise with that, it really helped me to get an official diagnosis, even though I knew. As for beating the system, I only have one idea. Talk to anyone else you know who has a child with autism/Asperger’s Syndrome and see if they have a good GP or psychologist who will A) give you a referral, or B) give you a diagnosis.

Joshua Muggleton- Wishing I could be more help