Behaviour modification – Part 2

Last week, we looked at the repetitive behaviour known as stimming, and whether we should stop people stimming or not. This week I am going to continue in a similar vein, and look at general “Aspie” behaviours and whether we should stop them.

When I think of Aspie type behaviours, I tend to think of obsessing over a certain subject, be it Psychology, learning lines from plays/musicals/music, playing an instrument, plants, or comics. Lets face it, having these intense interests is (sometimes wrongly) seen as a defining characteristic of Asperger’s Syndrome. But should parents allow it?

As an Aspie, let me sound a resounding YES! I often get e-mails from people who come to me saying “I have Asperger’s, I am useless, I only know about …..” I am sorry, but knowing lots about any of the subjects mentioned above – even comics! – can be useful. Take memorising lines from a play, it would make for a great director’s assistant to check they are following the script, or for knowing what lighting to do when. Garden centres are often on the lookout for people who can give good advice to customers, and knowing lots about comics can be an invaluable resource for comic book collectors and values. So it is a great gift that should be nourished. However, having said that, there comes a point where reality needs to come in. I know someone who, given the chance, would spend every hour of every day playing his guitar. Now he may be able to play better than Brian May, but he wont get very far if he forgets to wash, eat and go to the toilet. But even in less extreme examples, I think we need to modify and structure special interests for our own good. Personally, I would be very happy to sit down with a 3 inch thick Psychology text book and just learn the facts off by heart, but that won’t get me very far in practice. By structuring it in the form of regular lessons, I am enabled to concentrate on one area and focus that knowledge into something useful, something that will get me a qualification. Now admittedly, you can’t do A level comics, but I do think that it is important to try and structure the learning.

But what about Aspie behaviours which could have stronger negative effects? For example, Aspies have a tendency to be a bit impertinent – should we modify this? Or should we just say “it is the Aspie way of thinking, put up with it”? As usual, I think we need to head for the middle ground. While I think that we should obviously try not to be rude, I do think there needs to be more understanding about Asperger’s by the general public (would it be so hard to have a PSHE lesson on Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome?) However, the fact is, the public doesn’t often understand, and because autism is an invisible disability, it may be hard to discern whether someone’s rudeness is intentional or not. Therefore, maybe we should think about trying to modify our behaviour more to fit in. But I do think we need to draw a line, say we will do this but no more. I tend to think this line is at eye contact. If we are happy to make it (or fake it) then fine, but if we want to look down, or look away, I think that that should be respected. Making eye contact can be excruciating for us, find someone off the street, stare into their eyes for a minute or so, and you will know how we feel. Additionally, a lot of us are hypervisual, and so we look down because looking up is too bright for us. And making us look up can be torture.

But these are individual cases, what about a general rule of thumb? Well, in an ideal world, I suppose everyone would tolerate everyone, but the fact is, society cannot do this. I tend to think over the past few years, society has become less and less tolerant and so I think we have to be willing to modify our behaviour, or else face ridicule. I don’t like it, I think that we shouldn’t have to modify our behaviour – we put up with NT behaviour, so they should put up with ours, however, given the current attitudes and knowledge about Asperger’s, I am afraid I think we need to keep trying to fit in. So in general, I think we should modify our behaviour unless it is either crucial for us to continue with it (spending 2 hours on our specialist subject), or uncomfortable for us to change (looking into peoples eyes/looking up when hypersensitive to light). But having said that, I think we should keep trying to get people to be more accepting, so we can slowly let our behaviour out, because I don’t think we should have to modify our behaviour.

Joshua Muggleton – leading the secret rebellion to act Aspie!